don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
