yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
soo... how was my night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
