I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
