1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
