Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's rum buckets o'clock
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
