Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
