My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize