New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
