Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Congratulations! We have a period
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