Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Me too!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My life is pants optional.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
