im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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