What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
