You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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