Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
