I smell stomach acid.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
They are going to name an STD after you.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
