My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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