She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
