i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
