waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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