Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
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i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
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When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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