Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
