I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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