It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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