So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
