Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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