He kissed a someone with a penis
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
