i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
