no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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