considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
