During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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