whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
