Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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