Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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