I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
