I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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