my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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