So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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