we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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