dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
