C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
