I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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