he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
