dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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