hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Your dad touched me again.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize