this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
you never un-have a 4some
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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