We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
