Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is that strawberry winking at me??
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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