Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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