Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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