ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we made out on top of his cat.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
