So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
