about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
