Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
