Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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