Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
