im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
