Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
