It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
