This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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