i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
