omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
