is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
the raccoons are back...
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