People with herpes should wear stickers.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the day after is always just damage control
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
