So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
